Stop Telling Us and Our Kids It's OK To Fail! Everywhere I turn these days there is the message... "failure is what achievement is built on". Humm no. That's actually incorrect. Statements like "Failure is NOT an Option" is what inspired true greatness. There are some people who say that they have failed and failed and that's how they got to the place they are now. No... they did not fail! They kept at the same thing until they made it. Keep your eye on the prize... your method might change, is that failure NO. It's called a pivot. You are not failing if you are still working toward your goal. You fail when you completely walk away from the entire mission. Show your kids how to commit to your vision and not promote your lack of drive as "part of the process". Choose NOT to fail.
"College Kids are about 40% lower in empathy than their counterparts of 20 to 30 years ago, as measured by standard tests of this personality trait." Says Sara Konrath, who is a researcher at U-M Institute for Social Research The biggest drop in empathy was is after the year 2000
Candace Joice who is the Education Director at i-empathize is tackling this drop in empathy head on. Today Candace shares with us the three elements that i-empathize teaches kids during their entertain events to build empathy, be open and proactive about their areas of weakness a.k.a "push points" and how to recognize the difference between a negative and positive pull.
[6:07] Nurturing Empathy: There are three natural human responses that humans can happen when we seeing suffering. 1. Apathy. A simple response of "I don't care" 2.Sympathy. "I feel really bad that I am watching someone go through this" For kids it might be watching someone gets bullied in the hall or watching someone come to school every day hungry. Sympathy is just a feeling and can be burdensome to carry it inside of you. 3. Empathy is an action and an empowering position because it is acknowledging the capacity you have to make a difference in someone's life.
[8:01] What happens when kids are taught to be empathetic? Their own self-esteem will be ignited along with their sense of empowerment by communication with the kids that they can make such a huge difference in the life of someone else.
[8:33] We are born with a sense of empathy. A baby who hears another baby cry will also cry because there is a sense of "someone else is in pain and I feel that". But over time if that empathy is not nurtured it will fade away. Nurturing empathy in kids is essential to weeding exploitation out of our cultural soil.
[9:27] Why are we seeing this lack of empathy and disregard for human life? Author Michele Borba who wrote 'Unselfie Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me-World' Says that we have definitely hit a new generation of the youth that is called the "selfie generation" and that social media is all about displaying and curating a certain kind of image, that can take over from what we hope would be the concern for others and what others want and need.
[12:15] What is a push factor? A push factor is something that is outside of your control that can make you feel vulnerable. For young people, it could be something like not enough food or a lot of alone time because the parents are out of the home. I-empathize whats kids to be able to recognize the things that make them feel scared or unsafe. Once that feeling can be translated and recognized you can find help and safe place to deal with it. Another way to look at a push factor is that it is a weak link, a place in the chain that is not safe.
[14:52] What are negative and positive pulls? After the kids identify a place that makes them feel unsafe, then they can start thinking about who could be a positive pull or someone that could help them deal with it in a positive way. Because of the fact that "push factors" are places that can be used against the kids and be used to easily manipulate them in a negative way. In the youth programs, they teach the kids how to recognize those positive and negative pulls so they can navigate their personal situation in a safe way that is less likely to land them in a place where they are no longer in control.
[17:35] My (Emily's) personal experience with a 'negative pull' when I was 16.
[20:03] Candace gives us in detail what a lesson in "good pull, bad pull" would look during one of their events.
What happens when you make a five-year-old do their own laundry?
I'm a mountain girl at heart and there are a few plants that will save your life if you know how to use them. Yarrow is one of them.
We think that we are ruining our kid's life and setting them back because of hardships in our families. So often we want to soften the blow of divorce and other difficult things that have happened. But what if that hardship was where they will get their strength in the end, and trying to soften it is where the real damage comes in?
What can we learn about the effects of our media on kids from Ted Bundy? Is porn healthy sexual outlet? 2. Sex workers have the right to make money and can do what they want with their bodies. Is it just a sexual expression? 3. Does porn help marriages?
A great mindfulness practice to help kids understand basic etiquette of walking into a room.
Good Golly, I hope not! Well, all I can say is that in my house the moment you get behind the wheel of a car you had better have your "adulting" skills down pat!
Now is the time that we must stop relying on the government to keep the children safe.
Is our food getting to be too safe? With my history and being so close to the food industry, I have watched the FDA put more and more regulations on the food producers to create a cleaner and cleaner food. What could go wrong?
A couple of announcements. We now have a closed Facebook Group for all of you Mavericks. I despise Facebook and the general judgment that spews out of it. So this is a great place for us free thinkers to share and support each other.
An example of how to talk to your kids about body safety.
In honor of the woman who raised 4 kids while partnering with one of the worlds most influential civil right leaders.
We Want To Be and Raise Dreamers. Once you understand the "path" or "journey " of a dreamer, The obstacles that will get in your way will be easy to overcome. So often our ideas and dreams get stopped by the naysayers, the "giant" and often by our own family. The best book I have ever found on the subject of how to follow your dreams is Bruce Wilkinson. His book The Dream Giver is hand down the best read for those given a dream.
Two Simple Ways to Teach Forgiveness
Learning how to forgive can take a lifetime for some of us. But what if we could teach our kids at an early age to forgive? Holding on to anger and the victim mentality has been scientifically proven to have negative effects on our lives and relationships.
Three Ways to Protect Your Child From Human Trafficking There are now over 30 million people in the world that are slaves or live like one. In fact, there are more slaves now than ever before in human history. There are also 800,000 kids, and young adults are trafficked across international borders each year. For not just sex slavery but labor slavery as well.
I am a hot head in the worst way. I have never been able to control my anger problem and when I became a mom, that's when it became a real issue.
What is a Cult Anyway? There has been quite a bit in the news about the Church of Scientology being a cult. Since have all watched the stories of Tom Cruise and any many other celebrities come to the surface as being members, it's made me wonder... What is a cult anyway? How do people get sucked into these things? How can we make sure that our kids' will be able to cut through any scam and not drink the cool-aid? In my lifetime I have seen first had a few smaller cults, watched the people in them and have come up with a list of things Mavericks need to be aware of. ~>Cults can come in the form of religious, corporate, self-help programs and political groups. ~>They usually all have one leader and use a "pyramid " style recruiting process. That means that the member that recruits you get the credit and discredit for what you do. ~>They are secretive about what they do. If you find that they have not been straight up about how they operate... that is a red flag. ~>Your money and time are theirs. If you are finding it hard to find time for your friends and family as a result of being pressured into activities and they are asking for more and more money. Working for free and needing to pay for services, books, and workshops that get progressively more and more expensive in order to "succeed"... look for the door and start running. This article is referring to a cult that witnessed in the UK. Cults "target vulnerable students" By Emily Sheffield In Greater Manchester, which has nearly 70,000 students, the union has discovered plans by the Manchester Christian Church, a branch of the International Church of Christ UK (ICC), to rent a room on the campus to hold weekly meetings in October. The controversial cult has already been accused of preying on students and there are fears the latest series of meetings held in the Deaf Centre, a campus building, have been specifically aimed at the city's students who returned last week for the start of the new term. Anthony Noun, welfare officer for the Manchester university Students Union, said: "We are aware of cult activities close to campus and would like to alert students. Followers sometimes even drop out of their academic courses because the cult takes up all of their time and they are asked to hand over part of their income." ~> Sleep and food deprivation are classic ways to weaken the brain and has been used to manipulate members of the cults. ~> Character defamation is a handly trick cults like to use. No one likes to be called out and shamed in a group so they use that power to create fear and motivate the other members to do more work harder and give more money. ~> Isolation. If anyone discourages you from contacting friends and family, this is (usually) a bad sign. That is unless your friends and family are cult members :) At the end of the day... just make sure your kids QUESTION EVERYTHING. Any group that doesn't allow questioning is suspect.
Let's Not Be Jerks Abroad. There are about 3000 Americans that get arrested abroad every year. Some of those people were doing "bad" things, and others were just being stupid.
There are new studies saying that our brains have the ability to pick up on subtle smells, and lighting fast expressions that change the way we respond to others. Since empathy is one of the three pillars of How To Raise A Maverick I wanted to make sure all of you knew about this research. Essentially we are putting ourselves at a huge disadvantage by interacting via the internet. Even if we are using video. The simple and subtle clues that all humans are transmitting are missed. It's like only hearing half the conversation. Most people on that have Autism spectrum have little to no "interbrain". They can be taught to recognize facial expressions yet still have a hard time making a human connection. Professor Digby Tatum of the University of Sheffield is researching how humans communicate and the human brain. He strongly believes that there are much more powerful ways to communicate than speech. So, what that means for us is that we need to keep this in mind when talking to our kids. Follow or believe that gut feeling when we are around someone and to teach our kids to do the same. We also need to stress the fact that important exchanges of ALL kinds should be done in person. Business, personal and otherwise.
Instagram and Facebook are storing data about you and your kids. How much do you want them to know?
I share my personal experience with mental health and suicide n hopes that you will gain insight as to what it can be like to have suicidal thoughts. And what you can do to help your kids if they find themselves or other in a difficult mental health situation.